Sunday, February 07, 2010

On the other hand

...Anger is a powerful physiological experience, as I've been experiencing. Adrenaline, I've been telling myself, is there for a reason: to propel fight or flight. As always, the conundrum is this: What does one do with the instinctive energy of fight or flight in a supposedly civilized world? In a fresh bout of sleeplessness which I fully understand -- kept awake by adrenaline -- I devise one scenario after another. Some for revenge. Some for justice. Some for escape. Some for vindication. Whatever, my body is sending me an insistent message: DO SOMETHING. Interesting how the body is programmed for adaptation. It knows when it is threatened, attacked and insulted. It knows what to do: flood the system with energy. And here I am, rooting around in a mucky pen of passive aggression, bullies and a distorted template of anachronistic noblesse oblige. Move, move, my body says. I'm appreciative that my body has its ancient human responses. I just have to figure out how to make it work for me. Could righteous wrath be the fountain of youth?

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