Dopedust

Stardust: What a dumb movie. Not enough to satisfy either kids OR parents, in my view. Don't bother -- too many characters, too many ripoffs from other, better movies in the fantasy genre, an annoying lack of internal logic, tiresome deus ex machinas (shouldn't one per movie be the maximum by law?). I hate these movies that defy all the guidelines I proffer to my fiction writing students.

Several reviewers praised Michelle Pfeiffer as the chief witch, but I thought her overacting was mostly propped up by special effects. The more interesting role -- the only ten minutes or so of actual fun in the whole movie -- was Robert DeNiro as the cross-dressing Captain Shakespeare -- gruffly thuggish on the outside, and locked in his captain's quarters, prancing in front of a mirror in a pink corset, voguing and singing "I am the very model of a modern major-general" from the Pirates of Penzance. Eventually, he gets outed and whaaat? The crew still loves him. "We always knew you were a woopsie," one toothless pirate exclaims. "Arrggh," the Captain replies. Ahh, DeNiro as a pirate drag queen. Life is good. Wait for the DVD -- it's funny.